love's labor lost and yet won; where such mystical happenings could be found in most obliviously obvious places- hidden beauty.
Hope is an strong emotion. Cesario came back; with no progress with fair Olivia to accept my love, although he had been once more invited to meet with her again. Dare I… hope that this time would be the last time, and soon Olivia would be my wife?

Thinking Back;

  • what happened a few minutes ago
  • Me: Go and find Feste the Jester, who sang that old fashioned song yesterday for me.
  • Curio: Yes sir, immediately.
  • Me: (to Cesario) You know, if you ever happen to fall in love, you should think of me. Because this is the way how true lovers love- unable to concentrate on anyone aside from my beloved. How do you like the tune that is playing?
  • Cesario: It makes me feel what a lover feels.
  • And as we talked some more, I noticed how distracted he was- and from what I had said earlier, I deduced that he must be in, or falling in love, and was secretly glad. Now we could both could lament above the hardships of love together and support each other in winning our loves.
  • However, what was later said was disconcerting, if put mildly.

In Which There Was

A Debate.


Much Confusion. 

My talk with Cesario thoroughly unsettled me. Could he have been implying what I think he had, or was it just a part of my over creative imagination? 
That… changes things. 
Although- no, no, my love for Olivia is undying. 
And so I hurriedly sent Cesario to Olivia  
(while my mind was processing his earlier statement- I am all the daughters of my father’s house, And all the brothers too—and yet I know not
with a token of my love; a double strand jeweled necklace, one ruby representing passion and love, the other crystal, a promise to the wedding ring she would receive when she agrees to marry me. 
Some sort of courting gift, I suppose, in a split second of a decision. (guilt offering?) 
Now, should I ponder if Cesario is truly the mystery that I think he is to be, or the little tale he had shared with me, or should I just lie down on my couch and listen to music? 
Decisions, decisions.

The necklace I sent over to Olivia for me. I don’t know why; I have never given a token out ever before. Perhaps it is that Cesario was the only one that was invited back, or is it because I feel strangely guilty for a reason?I wonder.

O, What to do?


No, no, no. I am in under no circumstances gay. Or homosexual. Not that I- not that I have anything against people who ‘swing’ that way, but I just don’t
I am so sorry Cesario. If only you were a woman I would be oh so attracted to you not that I’m not attracted to you but not in that way well a little bit right now but I won’t act on it although I think you look quite beautiful and that… WAIT! I need a heir.  
Besides, I am deeply and irrevocably in love with Olivia, and nothing can… change it? Yet I no longer feel so depressed these days, especially when Cesario is accompanying me. I feel that it is a friendship now, more than a servant-master relationship. Most likely that I am so full of love that I transfer some of these emotions towards him? 
I suppose the deep devotion he gives me especially helping me to woo Olivia leads to a deep male bonding with each other. Perhaps Cesario mistook this into me loving him as a lover does?
This may lead to an extremely awkward relationship if I asked him about this. Better act ignorant and pretend I do not know anything. 
There may be more than friendship here, but I won’t act on it.

‘For women are as roses, whose fair flower Being once displayed, doth fall that very hour.’

After the sheer amazement:

Of that Cesario was actually a woman, a woman- the fates has heard my unspoken prayers- I was simply overjoyed.
That was the least I could call it, overjoyed; the rush, the high of feelings flooding across my mind as I tried to discern if it was reality or a very well envisioned dream, that I could not help but propose to her right there and then. 
So yes, I asked Cesario to marry me- or should I start calling her Viola although it is not the fact she is a female that initially attracted me?- and now thinking on it more closely, I do not regret my decision.
From the past days I have spent with her I have known more about Viola than Olivia, and truly I do love the deep bond that we share, her frank and trustworthy attitude, our friendship, and she is spectacularly attractive.
My previous love for Olivia must have slowly transferred towards Viola over time, and even though I subconsciously knew yet could not act on it. And now, I feel free.

Thank Goodness

For Olivia, as she certainly knows how to plan a wedding. With her, my mother, and occasionally Viola, the wedding would turn out nothing less than perfect, knowing Olivia’s personality.
As a friend, and without my eyes veiled with love, I find Olivia much similar to me, headstrong and passionate.
Also under careful observation (when hiding in a corner to eavesdrop on the wedding plans as the female wouldn’t share any) Olivia seems to enjoy melodrama and self involvement- even more than the woman who the wedding was for. Papers flung around the room, ideas shot out rapidly out of her mouth, animated hand gestures- as if Viola was a princess and that she was about to marry a king.
Not that I don’t appreciate it, of course.
But just imagine how my married life would be like if I had married Olivia.

The engagement ring that was commissioned for Viola, something to claim her as mine before the wedding. Simple, elegant, with an unique twist of daring; a rose in full bloom, and may the ring and the wearing preserve their everlasting beauty!